Dear .jobs,

This is a hard letter to write – but I know it must be done.  It seems like just yesterday when we first met – but its been almost 5 years.  In that time, I always wanted to believe in you and think what you were saying was true.  I was young and hopeful and really did think that you were going to change the world.

I’m in my 30′s now, .jobs, and while I still wish for that youthful love and world conquering idealism I once had with you – the dream has faded – partially because of the reasons I pointed out in 2007 on the mis-steps and marketing errors and pricing structure and lack of buy in  and ….  but I still hoped for your sake I was wrong.

I know we had some moments of glimmer and you told me about all the wonderful things you were going to do for me.  But now, its just sad.  The time to strike was hot a few years ago and the relationships are lost.

I’ve moved on .jobs.  I’ve seen that love .com and I shared was real and the “Ohh Shiney” stuff that you offered was not real.   He does what he says.  He shows up in google searches.  His domains are only $6.99 with a discount code at GoDaddy.  He gets hits because its where my job seekers want to go.   We are happy, our career sites are thriving.    Please stop and leave us alone.  Leave SHRM alone – they are getting this social media thing finally figured out – please let them focus on that.

Sincerely,

Me

PS.  Thanks to @jobboarddoctor for his post today on ERE which made me get all worked up over this issue again.  Read it.  He’s right.  Only 1 winner.

I’ve mentioned it before, but I love movies and the way that regardless of what is going on in our economy, lives, politics, world, etc a good movie can totally take you out of it and introduce you into a world unknown for a period of time.  I also love the lessons that we can learn from watching them – on life, risk taking, love, friendship, forgiveness and of course recruiting & branding.

20 Years ago – An Oscar was THE goal.  It was credibility, notoriety, fame, fortune and the physical manifestation of success.  Today its is the same thing with a interesting way to select movies that half the US population never will see.

20 Years Ago – The MTV Movie Awards didn’t exist.  But in the last 19 years it has evolved into being the one place where movies that people actually watch over and over and over – regardless of their technical and acting quality can be recognized for simply being awesome.

The Oscar is like the HR’s answer to the “Best Places to Work List”

The MTV Movie award is where your friends love to work.

(Now, select the alternate ending of the blog that best meets your needs)

I’m A Company:

Having a “best places to work” icon on your career site is great and a huge feat and something every company should be extremely proud of.  But don’t expect it to sell its self any more.  People aren’t looking at that as the end all be all of great places to actually work.  Its an icon, like an Oscar, but we all know that where people fill the seats and spend the money isn’t always on the oscar contenders.   Make sure that you are selling your company for what makes it unique an some of the features that aren’t always considered on those lists.

MTV Movie awards does the basics (best female lead, best movie…blah blah) but what makes them stand out and unique is they do other categories like best kiss or best WTF moment.  And the other categories aren’t wasted on things like costume and make up design because, well, people EXPECT that to be there in movies now.  You only playing up your branding around your excellent benefits or other things that everyone else on that list can offer is actually putting you at the disadvantage.  Job Seekers are EXPECTING that – especially from a Oscar Worthy organization.

I’m A JobSeeker:

So, you are out there searching for a job.  You are like an actor that is reading over 2 scripts determining if your next best career move is the oscar worthy epic where you will have a bit part or if it is the potential summer break out hit where you will have a bit part.

Don’t feel pressure to “want” to work at the companies on the “best places to work” or where your friends love to work.  Its ok to work for the quirky off the wall place that everyone just loves to work at but doesn’t win any awards.  As you look for your next role – take a look at those lists, but also take a look at other places that you hear about, read about on social media or online or just randomly see a opening at.   Decide for yourself based on conversations with current employees, the feel you get when you walk in for your interview, the way you are treated throughout the process to make your decision and where the “best place to work for you”.

Honestly, its because we women often suck.

We are competitive and jealous and insecure and catty and feel that we need to tear each other down to build ourselves up. We look at other successful, beautiful, intelligent women and think that we have to be better from them vs. learning, supporting & partnering with them.

Its always been a issue I’ve wondered about and in an offline discussion at #ungeeked last week with Chris Brogan and Sally Hogshead when she flat out asked him why she thought there were so few women leaders in social media by comparison to men – his answer was simple – they tear each other down!

Its a uniquely female thing.  And it needs to end. We don’t see this happening with men in our industry – in fact many of the men within social media have amazingly quick rises to success because of the massive support of female “fans” – yet when the tables are turned – the support is just completely lacking.  In the business world, we have some left over remnants of a 1970′s life that makes us think that there are only so many “spots” for women in business and we are only competing with each other vs with all of the people we work with (men).  I’ve seen women in their 50′s tear down and almost punish younger women coming into the work force while supporting and almost mentoring the young men that came into the same situation.  I’ve seen women in their late 20′s and early 30′s refuse to even talk to other women in their industry space because they view them as competition vs. a potential partner.

I’ve got an amazing network of men in my industry that have taught me so much about my career path, going after what I want and not making apologies for anything.  At the same time, I realized that in HR, we are lucky to have a strong group of women who want to encourage and support the growth of one another and through that I have grown and developed both professionally and as a person through amazing relationships that I have developed and by listening to the advice of with strong, intelligent women in our industry like Laurie Ruettimann, Jenny DeVaughn, Susan Burns and more.

So, here’s the deal – you will never ever ever ever be the smartest, cutest, nicest, prettiest, youngest, most popular, most respected, most coveted, blah blah blah.

So my message is pretty simple:

Grow up. Support One Another. Don’t be a bitch.

In the real world people are cautious about what and how they say things.  There is something about looking someone in the eye or hearing their voice on the phone that changes the mental decision making process between what you want to say to someone and what you actually do say.  It is in that situation that your brains decision making process kicks into overdrive and helps you make good decisions not to upset, hurt, offend, etc.

In my real world life, I get faced with a tough decision (or lets face it, an easy one) and I carefully analyze it, weigh the risks, potential outcomes of each possible option, the impact it will have on all of the parties involved and make a educated decision based on those factors.  What wins is the path that seems the most logical.  I rarely make a decision based on emotional drivers.

In social media however, most people just put it out there (me included!!!).  I don’t always think through what I do or say or the larger, longer term impact that it can have.  From a decision making factor it is like taking a few shots of tequila then exposing me to 2000+ people to say exactly what I think.  We forget that much like when we say things in our real life, we can’t really take it back.  In fact its worse in social media because the electronic record is there forever.

The complete opposite tends to hold true for most organizations that are tightly controlling their “branding” – There is so much time spend doing the analyzing of what you should/shouldn’t put out there that they often come across so vanilla that a potential employee doesn’t really know them at all.  Your corporate facebook fan page, twitter accounts, corporate blog, etc  are all an extension of your organization and what you put out there about your organization – both good and bad – needs to be analyzed just like you were saying or presenting it to someone face to face.

When you are sitting in an interview with someone or talking to people at a BBQ – what do you say then (positive) about your company?  When they are frustrated or get a call from a headhunter – what makes employees stay with you?  Its typically not what is on your traditional branding material and on the information you feed out online.

I’m not suggesting you dive overboard and go to the extreme that a lot of us do as individuals – putting things out there that you probably shouldn’t have.  But, I am encouraging brands to move in that direction and be more human.  Be more real.  Be more vulnerable. Show the quirks and the not so positive part while highlighting the rest.

In doing so, you’ll gain the people that appreciate your company for who it is and want to work their regardless.

Just like the people who stay friends with me even when I do (and say) really stupid things.

I’m new to Tapas so I love going with people who know what they are doing.  They look at a menu with 100′s of options and just shout out numbers at people that pass by.  Food just shows up in totally random increments – nothing in order, not knowing what exactly to expect, assuming its going to be what you are looking for.

Tapas is like a dream eating situation – if you don’t like something you quickly move on – no commitment, no second guessing if you made the right decision, no envying across the table at what everyone else got.  You just take a few bites and sample a little bit of everything – its like a food nirvana. That is until you find one that you really like and you realize that everyone else also liked that one the best and you can’t ever again figure out what it was or how to order more because the plate is empty, replacements have been distributed already and you have nothing left to even show the waiter as an example – any remnants of that favorite one have already been devoured by the hungry table who is really just eating ‘real food’ to fill in for more plates of bacon wrapped dates to come from the kitchen and sangria pitchers to be refilled and the waiter.  I tried to reorder something i liked once and got a plate of sausage.   I don’t like sausage.  I wanted more spicy chicken.  I suck at ordering Tapas.

As with so many other random things in life, I immediately saw the correlation with hiring.

How Tapas is the Same as Recruiting

Recruiters = Diners.

They are like me – the hungry consumer waiting to eat and not exactly sure what we are going to get.  We hope that what we are asking for is what we are really looking for and we often go on what others have done before us as a basis of future activity.

Tapas = Applicants

There are hundreds of options out there – each one slightly different from the next but on the menu they all kind of look the same.  The applicants (tapas) fly at the recruiters (diners) at crazy speeds – each being pushed my the servers (ahh….think 3rd party recruiters) that are telling you what they have and why its great.

Eating = Screening

Actually eating the various tapas that fly at you and narrowing down the ones that you really like is kinda like the screening/interviewing phase.  The hungry diners (recruiters) are so busy going around getting a little bit of everything off the plates that they don’t always pay close attention to what they are sampling.  You are excluding the candidates you don’t like, trying to find more of ones you did – and overlooking the details that will really matter in the long run when you try to replicate the hire again.  This is the most important part of the tapas and recruiting experience – yet we often rush through it seeing if there is something better – overlooking the greatness we already have.

ReOrder = Interview

Know what you want – pay attention in the earlier phases so when you get to the point of the interview (re-order) you are asking for what you really want and need from that candidate.  Don’t just ask questions at random – make sure you target in based on their needs and yours.  You don’t want to end up with the wrong thing because you didn’t pay attention and ordered wrong after being left with just a table full of empty plates.

Moral of the story is to pay attention when eating your applicants Tapas so you don’t end up with sausage when you wanted chicken.  Oh, and I totally love Tapas now.

We often overlook the power of language.  We don’t always appreciate the emotional impact a word can have on the dynamics of a relationship – the way the same word can bring 2 people together, or pull them apart. A single word can evoke feelings of excitement, amazement and anticipation in one and fear, denial and regret in another.  The selection of that single word can forever change the path and journey you are taking. We forget that as hard as we try, once said, those words cannot be taken back.  The impact is out there – the fall out (good or bad) is ours and ours alone to deal with.

There can be nothing more powerful than a single word.

Yet as we go about our daily lives we forget about that awesome power.  The way that what we say shapes others perceptions, feelings, mood.  It why you choose to by one product over another.  Its why a picture of LaCoste can make two people laugh for no reason.  Its why we pay $5 for a coffee when we could have one just as good for $2.  Its about managing the emotional response through carefully crafted lingustics.  Instead, we often pretend like this impact doesn’t exist.

In human resources – no where is the power of language more evident than in your job postings.  The way you word a job ad – will make a dream candidate fight for what they want (your job) or by pass it totally.  It will give the impression to others of the cultue, mindset and vision for your organization.  It will make them know its better than what they have or make them apprehensive and scared to take that next step.  It is the language that defines your company for a number of job seekers beyond any branding or website that may exist.  It is their reality.

When you are going through your jobs this week – take a few minutes to look at the posts from a job seekers perspective.  What words are you using to build or destroy a relationship?  What language have you selected that is the emotional catalyst to draw the right people in?  Take control of the reality and manage what you say carefully – make sure it is what you mean and you aren’t having to be playing catch up after the fact and explaining yourself later.

I should have been a girl scout. Apparently, being a girl scout would have totally prepared me for life. I would have learned leadership, how to sew badges on a sash, self-confidence, sales, and that if I eat enough cookies I can win a prize.  Most importantly, I would have learned to live my life by their motto: Be Prepared.

Unfortunately, I was not a girl scout. (I was a brownie for exactly 1 meeting and quit – long story involving pigs and crafts and cheesecake)

Yesterday, was quite possibly the busiest day I have had so far this year. I had more calls scheduled yesterday than I typically have all week. It was back to back to back all day. On top of it – I realize that this time next week I will be in London. I didn’t so much realize, as I was bombarded with “aren’t you so excited for london” messages yesterday.

In this carefully crafted and planned day –  I took an unknown call that wasn’t on the schedule from a number I didn’t recognize. I was totally not prepared. In my world – I assume if I email, people will email me back – when they call – well, it catches me by surprise. In this case,  I was falling over my words and am pretty sure I sounded like a bigger geek than I really am – and as I got off the call I thought – “Why did I even answer that when I was in the middle of something and totally unprepared for what was on the other end?”  Then I sent an apology message and asked to reschedule.  Which then made me think “really?  wow – I’m only making it worse – maybe they didn’t think it was as bad as I did.”  I did end up scheduling a followup – so either maybe it didn’t go as bad as I thought, or they want to see if it is possible that I can trip all over my words. Again.”   Ugh. Welcome to my life.

Anyway….Yesterday, CornontheJob did a post on the benefit (or lack there of) of dressing professionally for phone screens. I’ve done a post recently on why I am totally OK dressing in yoga pants and a tank top when on the call with anyone I am on a call with.  Like many other great debates of our time, its never going to get resolved – there are people on both side of the discussion that make valid points.  But I think the real argument that people make (but miss) is the fact that not “mentally” putting yourself in that (work) place can make you unprepared.  Being unprepared makes you less productive and not accomplish what you are set out to accomplish.  This is especially true if you are new to a flex/life or working from home.  When I first started – I needed to dress up a little more – I had been doing it for a long time and it felt right.  Now, I don’t.  At all.   I can be rock it anytime – except when I am not at all prepared.  Then I suck.

I so should have been a girl scout.

Today’s guest post comes to us from Edita Isufi a future HR Leader and a student in Steve Boese’s HR Technology Class.

I came to the United States all the way from Kosovo, the youngest European country that is still struggling to find its identity in Europe.  Right after its independence, three years ago, it was referred to as the “United State’s 53rd state” because of the close political relationship we had built with them during the war.

Now, three years later, Kosovo still lacks economic stability and social welfare as well as employment opportunities. If you really think of these sensitive issues that are essential for national development you get lost within them and forget about HR and human capital that directly contribute to the problem.

So, before coming to United States I came across an article that talked about how HR professionals must become strategic partners in organizational decision making.  For a second I remember asking myself: Ok, but what about HR? Do we really have one?

I was so isolated hearing about all those political and economic problems that I couldn’t really find the logic behind the role of HR in all this. Hence, I wanted to explore and learn more about what HR can do to develop talent and how the right talent that meets organizational goals can be found.
This is exactly one of the reasons why I decided to pursue my master’s degree In Human Resource Development in the United States.

Before I go further, here are a couple of “reasons” why organizations ignore the importance of HR in Kosovo:

• High unemployment rate (around 60%) make organizations consider the right talent for granted because there is always more demand for jobs than supply.
• HR does nothing else except for hiring, firing and payroll so why spend money for an HR department when we can have the management itself do that function when there is a need for talent.
• We still have to focus on issue like economic instability and inflation hence HR is not a priority.

There are many organizations in Kosovo that believe in HR and its future as strategic partner. However, few of them have sort of a general idea of what a strategic partner really means; yet few know about the selection, development and retention programs without even mentioning succession planning. I have to admit, succession planning was a totally new term for me too. ☺
And I know it sounds like I am making a comparison between United States and Kosovo and it would be stupid if I did. However, I know that that’s what the organizations worldwide are striving for and it’s all about human capital. Well, guess what, Kosovo will have to start thinking about it too because nothing and none is going to wait or care if it can make it to compete globally or not.

At the end of this year, I will be leaving United States for good and I know that I am transferring valuable knowledge with me. What really frightens me, if that’s the right word to use, is if I can apply what I have learned about HR to my workplace too.  As far as I know, there are few or no HR professionals back there and if you don’t have people to work on HR development then it will be tough to go on this journey alone.

So, where do I start? Where do all people like me start? Can social media make a change in the way people think about HR? Do we have to send more students abroad to learn about HR? How do I get to convince organizations that HR really matters and that after all it’s the human capital that leads to economic growth?

You know the candidates I’m talking about – the one’s that send you emails “Hoping you have a great day!” or that send 40,000 confirmations before a meeting to “make sure it is still a good time for your valuable schedule” or the ones that shoot off the thank you emails for you responding to their email.   Its kinda annoying.  There. I said it.  I admit, I may be the only person that feels this way – but it is something that has bothered me since my very first recruiting gig.

There is a difference between friendly and being nice to the creepy level.  This past few months has really kicked up the creepy.

So – if you want a job here are my top 3 tips -

1.  Don’t facebook stalk me.  I accepted your friend request, but I don’t need to chat with you all day long (I have a job) and you don’t need to send me emails asking if I am mad at you.  We aren’t dating (and if we were and you did that we wouldn’t be for long)

2.  Don’t send me random emails with pictures of kitties hanging from a branch that say “hang in there” because you “know how hard finding the right candidate is”  All you do is make me angry and wonder what you know about recruiting when you have never done it.

3.  Don’t act like I am brilliant.  I am not.  I am just like you.  Laughing when I say something remotely funny or telling me how much my blog has changed your life is weird.  Its a blog and thats not true.

If you have done any of these things – chances are, I have put you in my creeping me out file folder in my mind.  Unfortunately, there is a lot of people in it so you have company.