Honestly, its because we women often suck.

We are competitive and jealous and insecure and catty and feel that we need to tear each other down to build ourselves up. We look at other successful, beautiful, intelligent women and think that we have to be better from them vs. learning, supporting & partnering with them.

Its always been a issue I’ve wondered about and in an offline discussion at #ungeeked last week with Chris Brogan and Sally Hogshead when she flat out asked him why she thought there were so few women leaders in social media by comparison to men – his answer was simple – they tear each other down!

Its a uniquely female thing.  And it needs to end. We don’t see this happening with men in our industry – in fact many of the men within social media have amazingly quick rises to success because of the massive support of female “fans” – yet when the tables are turned – the support is just completely lacking.  In the business world, we have some left over remnants of a 1970′s life that makes us think that there are only so many “spots” for women in business and we are only competing with each other vs with all of the people we work with (men).  I’ve seen women in their 50′s tear down and almost punish younger women coming into the work force while supporting and almost mentoring the young men that came into the same situation.  I’ve seen women in their late 20′s and early 30′s refuse to even talk to other women in their industry space because they view them as competition vs. a potential partner.

I’ve got an amazing network of men in my industry that have taught me so much about my career path, going after what I want and not making apologies for anything.  At the same time, I realized that in HR, we are lucky to have a strong group of women who want to encourage and support the growth of one another and through that I have grown and developed both professionally and as a person through amazing relationships that I have developed and by listening to the advice of with strong, intelligent women in our industry like Laurie Ruettimann, Jenny DeVaughn, Susan Burns and more.

So, here’s the deal – you will never ever ever ever be the smartest, cutest, nicest, prettiest, youngest, most popular, most respected, most coveted, blah blah blah.

So my message is pretty simple:

Grow up. Support One Another. Don’t be a bitch.

“What about Gen X?  Why does everyone forget about us?  How come its all about gen y and boomers? We matter too!”    A gen x’er asked while we were out and about in Chicago after my generational panel last weekend at #HREvolution.

“Because you aren’t loud enough” was my response.

The truth of the matter is that people sell and talk about things that other people listen to and are willing to pay for.  Advertisers pay more for certain shows because people watch them.  Certain colleges charge more than others because they have created a demand and people will pay for it.  You look at the agenda before you register for a conference – why?  because you want to see if you have an interest in what is going on.

Lets face it Gen Y is loud.  We tweet, blog, write, speak a lot.  We have a lot of names, faces, websites and everything else to keep us in the mix.  A lot of what we do isn’t self serving – its about helping other Gen Y’er move forward in the world.   Its about sticking up for ourselves in the “gen y sucks” world.  Its about a group of people that have always been social and public and just using their technology to enhance those relationships.

The truth is that Gen Y wouldn’t be that big of a deal and we wouldn’t talk about it so much if the boomers wouldn’t have started talking about them and then developing experts (who weren’t even gen y) to go out and talk to companies about this “crazy” new group of youngin’s coming.  So, quite honestly we wouldn’t be the way we were if it weren’t for the boomers.

So, to wrap it up – yes we talk about Gen Y alot – Its all the boomers fault – and oh, shoot – I totally forgot to talk about Gen X again.

Today’s guest post (1 day delayed because of no wifi access) is an amazing guest post by Ben McCall of RethinkHR that came out of a great phone convo.  Yep, phone.  I know.  Sidenote: He is amazingly smart and ready for a new challenge in HR – you should check out his blog and HIRE him!

So this is has been a loaded topic since Christ was born. Since Darwin and the Catholic Church stopped talking to one another. It has been battled over since the thousands of soldiers came home from World War II. And yet again when Pensions and 401K’s were dumped on the employee to manage. Ok maybe none of this true. Maybe it is all ludacris but at the same time – to me – that is the way I feel about the argument on differences in generations. From the way we comb our hair to how we interact and where and when we have conversations. The generational topic has always been loaded. Filled with opinions and perspectives that are both valid and ludicrous.

First a short series of sporadic definitions (more like opinions which change from person to person) on each generation:

Baby Boomer

Generation Jones

Generation X

Generation Y

So what does all this mean? If you look closely at each definition as describe by the oh-so-always accurate Wikipedia what they basically say is that we are different. I argue we are not, that it is only the context in which we do things and sometimes the environment in which we do them. People could argue that exposure to technology and information, early career versus lots of experience. Even the old military-style-of-“Yes Sir and Yes Mam” of working relationship could be argued but really why even argue. Because if we are so different, will we never agree?

So this is why we say – STOOPPPPP!!!

-       Everyone has something to say but no one will agree: so to follow the quote that I love by Bill Cosby – “I don’t know the secret to success but I do know the key to failure… trying to please everyone.” I don’t think you can please anyone in this issue. Period.

-       For some it’s more than just a conversation: Let’s face it, there are those that live and breathe the argument. They make a case, study statistics and will never change their minds.

-       Depth Perception: Some, no matter how hard you try, will never see another side.

-       Get over yourself and the differences: I get the fact we need to understand what makes us different in order to interact and see how we can best move towards a goal. I also understand that there are differences, but come on, why do we focus so much on the differences when we could look more at the similarities?

-       I am different than you: But isn’t everyone. At one point in all of our careers we have questioned the position, the company, the people and even our personal direction.

Most of the arguments are me versus you.

-       If you want to cry there are better things to cry about: In a time we have mass world disasters and wars, famine, job losses and business inability or unwillingness to be innovative, why in the heck are we having this lengthy conversation.

-       I work harder and longer then you: We all work hard and long depending on who we work for whether we love our jobs or hate them. We are also lazy and don’t do anything sometimes. Does that make me any less committed then you?

-       It’s not about differences or generations. It’s about CONTEXT: Everyone likes music; I may like Hip Hop and Country while you enjoy Heavy Metal and Opera. But hell, Baby Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y, Millennial’s we all like the Beatles! So let’s all get in one room and “come together, right now…”

Beatles – Come Together

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So what are we for and what are we against?

I am not against having the conversation at all. For some it can be enlightening and a learning experience. However, for many this subject is like politics or religion. Once you are in the sites of a sniper looking for death, you might as well give your life up because you will be trapped behind their cross hairs.

I’ve been writing, blogging and speaking on Gen Y issues since 2006 when ERE gave me a blog called Gen Y’d (See my 1st post). As one of the “old” Gen Y’ers – I have watched the evolution of “us” in the workplace from the eager recent college grads entering the workforce as our nation was reeling from it first major terrorist attack, the mini-boom of “the talent war” and the current state of record breaking unemployment. I have seen the reality of the “why” we are distrusting of corporate America, less loyal than the boomers to a corporate setting and the reason so many of us strive to be entrepreneurs.

To a degree – the debate shouldn’t even really exist – we are a lot like our counterparts were when they were in their 20′s – we want the same types of thing of out life, have the same goals and dream the same dreams they did.

The difference lies in Expectations.

Our generation has been raised in a “me” culture, a world full of immediate gratification, instant access and always being told we can do (and be) anything. We’ve had computers in our homes since elementary school, cell phones & internet access since early in our high school years and only know about punch cards because of what Gen X’ers tell us.

Our reality and immediate need for gratification has shaped the way we do business, interact with our friends and live our lives.  It has built amazing social networks, changed the history of news and impacted the way companies market, interact and work.  Gen Y’s expectations are changing our culture (or are a subset of the culture we live in one can argue).

We want it all, and we want it now.  And we see nothing wrong with that.

The vision that we all had of “having it all” when we grew up was built out of the defining moments we watched on television, read about on the internet and heard about via friends we may never meet.  We want to have what our parents have (or more) by the time we hit 30 – not 50.

Prior generations would wait their turn.  Be patient.  Accepted that life doesn’t move as fast as we want.  In the workplace they accepted (and understood) the idea of promotion and compensation based on tenure not performance.  That you have to “earn” the right to have an opinion.

Our generation wants to learn – everything – now.  We want to prove ourselves and be promoted and compensated based on our success and value – not how long we sat in our cube in a week.  We want to show you a different way to look at things.

We want you to understand that our expectations don’t take any value out of what you have done in the workforce.  We don’t want you to look down or discourage us.  We want to learn from you and evolve (Rapidly).  We don’t think we are better, faster, stronger, smarter than the generations before us.  We don’t think we are “entitled” to it.  We just aren’t afraid of expectations.

We want YOU to have expectations of US to do something AMAZING!

On Wednesday -  I have an amazing guest post on the topic by Ben McCall of RethinkHR – he’ll talk about why the debate is getting old – lets work together and move on!  (I AGREE!) Sidenote: He is amazingly smart and ready for a new challenge in HR – you should check out his blog and HIRE him!

You have seen the tweets, heard the rumors and now, it’s really happening:

As a society, we are very focused on the future and how we want to shape and change things.  We tweet, we blog, we discuss, we meet all about how things ‘should’ be.  Yet rarely do we (Gen Y) actually take the time to really understand how we got to this point in the first place.   We are a generation of thinkers.  We are a generation of now.  We are a now generation that see’s it isn’t right and just wants to jump in and fix it.  We are a generation who (in many respects) doesn’t take the time to understand the history behind the why.  We, in some respects, have an idealistic view of the way a society and business should operate vs. how the reality dictates it does and fights for the idealism vs reality.

In my idealistic world – work would be a part of who we are – a passion that people possess beyond any other and something they can’t imagine being with out.  A company is a portal for a person to be able to delve into their craft and not worry about the auxiliary issues that they would face being independent.  The experience would be a win/win from start to finish and would be existing for the greater good of society as a whole.

In reality – work (for so many people) has overtaken the “who” of who they are and not because it is a passion they possess, but because they are slaves to credit cards and mortgages and all of the other “wants” our society has created.  Companies are not a partnership portal allowing individuals to shine and develop, rather they are succubus’ ready to suck the soul out of you if you dare try to change the course.

The question we should all think about before the how do we improve it, is the how did it get to this point to start with.  At what point did companies lose their humanity – or did they ever have it to start with?

I am not fighting for reality.  I am also not fighting for idealism.

I am advocating for a true understanding of the how and the why we got to the point we did based on fact.  Much like history, we can only stop repeating mistakes once we truly understand and accept them.  Only then can we become the generation that reshaped the future of business.  I hope the next time you cross a challenge or something to change – you will take a few minutes to really discover the why and the how it got there in the first place.

I love generational issues – but everytime I start to think, we really are similiar I quickly realize I am wrong.  In fact, the concensus this weekend from Gen Y’ers I spoke with is that other than their own kids, 2/3 of boomers hate Gen Y in the workplace.

According to a survey released this weekend, only 48% of all Gen Y’er that were of school age were going to be getting (or already had) a job for the summer.  That means for more than HALF of the kids – they are taking it easy and hanging out by the pool for the summer while their parents give them cash.