Why I like Social Networking. My Manifesto. Kinda.
For me, social networking is part of my job. Its a portion of how I brand our business. Its a way to cultivate relationships with partners, clients and influencers. Its how I keep up to date on what other vendors are doing.
It’s also been instrumental in my conversion of my blog from ERE to ImSoCorporate.com this fall. It has been through RT’s on twitter and networkedblogs.com on facebook – that I have met some really smart, interesting people.
On the flip side, if you follow my tweets – you know that it is about more than that to me as well. On a personal level – it has blurred that line between totally professional relationships, pseudo-friendships and in some cases, true friendships and relationships that will last a very long time.
I’ve gotten some advice from someone that I respect to change how I am online. That my ‘image’ isn’t what I want it to be and supplied some advice on perceptions of me. I thought a lot about it. A lot. It was the inspiration behind my 2010: Twitter post. It has caused me a internal debate and discussion. It has honestly caused a little bit of writer’s block.
It caused doubt.
I don’t live my life with doubt. I can’t. I don’t have the time, energy or emotional attachment to do so. Doubt to me is no different than failure.
So, Here is why I like social networking and why I’m not changing too much.
1. In person, I am kinda shy. For those of you that only know “online me” this is typically a bit of a shocker. In fact, I do a pretty good job hiding it (usually via a cosmo or xanax) but know that I am actually really uncomfortable talking to you when we meet. You make me nervous and i’m a bit intimidated. As someone who is super uncomfortable in a 1-1 setting or in a small group of people, it has been a really interesting way to build relationships without the anxiety and fear that would normally stop us from meeting.
2. It allows me to be less judgmental. I’m not sure if she remembers, but the first time I met Laurie (PunkRockHR.com) she really, really didn’t like me. And to be fair, I felt the same way. We had next to nothing in common and that was the end of it. It was because of conversations we started having via social networking, tweets about life, books, etc that we discovered we had way more in common than I ever imagined. Social networking lets you watch, observe and learn about someone over time – not just that chance encounter – if you give it a chance.
3. It keeps me from talking to myself. I work at home. Alone in my basement. Its kinda boring down here – so while I work, I listen to music or get random Facebook Messages, IM’s & DM’s throughout the day from other people that are in the same situation. Its like our version of running into someone my the water cooler, or popping our head over the cube. Its like a little insulated support network that reads over each others blogs before they go public, helps get us unstuck when we can’t figure out how to do something on our new mac or just someone saying Hi.
4. I learn stuff. A lot of stuff from a lot of people who are way smarter than I am. Sometimes it isn’t so much of learning as it is a new perspective that I hadn’t considered before. I love to constantly be expanding my mind and learning new things – even when they are totally random.
5. I can do it on my own time. Unlike webinars and meetings and whatever – I can do social networking while i am working, when I am at the gym, or sitting on my couch. It doesn’t matter to anyone else if I am there at a particular time as long as I get back to them. (This may go back to my commitment issues…hmm….)
6. I can just be me. (well, the me you would get if you knew me) I am who I am and people will judge me regardless. If you think I am a ‘party girl’ because I post pictures of us having fun at conferences – then you obviously choose not to see that I am also there at 8am tweeting on the sessions or know anything about me. Like many things, I am a bit of an aquired taste – you love me or you don’t and that is fine. My goal is to be me, not try and be who you think I should be.
7. I like the personal/social part of it. My goal in life isn’t to be friends with you. I’m not impressed by the fact that you have 40,000 readers on your blog or you speak at SHRM. I don’t really ready all your PR you send out. Honestly, who cares. That isn’t YOU.
8. I rarely travel where I am alone. Because of this network – anytime I travel – I have someone to grab lunch, dinner, drinks, etc with. It makes work trips much less boring and I usually end up making really great connections because of it.
9. Why not? That is all.
Hey Sarah, this is a really great post and I read every word. You are an excellent writer and you make such valid points as to why Social Media rocks!! I like it a lot and feel the same way! I also learned from your post that doubt is as good as failure and that was hard to hear. I have more doubt then I would like and I will get to work right away to knock that out of my vocab. Doubt is certainly a word that does not serve us in moving forward with great confidence and courage!
Thanks for sharing your great wisdom Sarah!!
xox
Helen
http://www.ActionHabits.com
And this is why I like social networking too.
And for the record, is it okay that I thought you were a pretty cool chick when I met you?
Hope so.
Stay sane in that basement, Sarah.
I love this. You are just as awesome in person as you are online and I’m happy I’ve met you in both!
Ah Ditto what the HR Minion said, you are a great person and I feel honored to get to know you better.
Yes, yes, yes, and yes (minus the xanax – for now-, and the cosmo,- too sweet, I prefer a sour apple martini, thank you very much)
Great post Sarah, a look into the real you, that only enhances the “online” you. I am very glad to have met you in real life (yay RecruitFest), and looking forward to seeing you again at TRULondon 2 and beyond.
@Helen – Thank you for the kind words. Removing doubt from your life isn’t always easy – but is better when its gone. Look forward to hearing from you again!
@Tammy – LOL – That was a martini in hand night. No fears. Ok a little. But I’m glad I didn’t come across terrified. Next time it should be for a little longer, though
@HR_Minion & @Geoff – It has been great getting to know both of you guys over the past year! I love bringing these relationships offline
@maha – it was awesome to meet you in person as well – I find the apple martinis too sweet… C-Ya in London
I like you too because you’ve made me more socially-network-connected. You set up my tweetdeck on my iPhone which I still get frustrated with (because how in the hell do people keep up with twitter???) but will always be appreciative of that.
This is just one more great article by you.
Honest.
I could copy and paste some of your bullets into a blog post of my own and they would describe why I like social networking. Looking forward to meeting you soon.
Continue to be you. While I believe you are smarter than you think and hold more influence on me and others than you know, I read and converse with you because you are different and show the real you. That is important to readers. We want to know who you really are, even if that hurts us, or makes us not like you.
Blog what you know, who you are, and what you love and everything will be great.
While I haven’t really worked since the beginning of 2009, I’ve made myself work hard on my blog, twitter, and staying connected. I’ve sat alone on my computer many days (with gym breaks) and I too have enjoyed the virtual water cooler that you talk about.
Great stuff!
Great thoughts. I think we learn from feedback and opening ourselves up to criticism and constructive feedback. Without it, all of us might as well have the mind set that we only hang out and live along in our basements
I know that not everyone appreciates it but the fact is that we need to be tested in order to be better. Only when we are tested, will we know our true measure.
Great thoughts
http://rethinkhr.org
@benjaminmccall
http://linkedin.com/in/benjaminmccall
I’m trying to brand myself too
Great post! There are a million people online who think they know what’s right for you, and I think it can be really valuable to get feedback from others..BUT…at the end of the day you have to decide what is right for you. I don’t think any of us can be real successful if we are not being true to ourselves.
From one basement dweller to another!
@joegerstandt
I have no idea why my gravatar isn’t showing up but…I’m working on it!
@mike – next time I see you I will get you fixed up again to manage your tweetdeck better! You know how to reach me if you need help before then.
@Lisa – I can’t wait to meet you either
@Rich – Thank you – those were super awesome comments to hear. I don’t know about the influence part – I never make those super lists everyone tweets out. lol
@Ben – I agree and will adjust a little – but I can’t change who I am to match a brand all that much
@joe – Basement dwellers unite!!! Thanks!
You need to be you. And since I know you highly value my opinion, I think my work is done here!
I have seen a number of people last year on Twitter “re-brand” themselves and you know what? They are no longer authentic and genuine. I like Social Media for the same reasons as you do (although my office is on the 2nd floor and my 2 dogs keep me from feeling like I am working alone). Just like Laurie, on the surface we have little in common and yet through Twitter we have found some common ground and I enjoy conversing with you. I also enjoy the fact that we can tease each other about our differences. Looking forward to catching up with you in person in 2010 over a cosmo or two or ten.
Crap, it’s like having an identical twin…except me live-tweeting hockey games.
Really great post, Sarah. I have to echo others and say your reasons are much like my own for social media.
I, like you, am kinda the shy sort in person. It takes a while for me to warm up to people.
The reason why I got into social media – especially Twitter and blogging – is to express myself to the world on my own terms. I think, as humans, we tend to censor and mold ourselves to whatever situation we happen to be in. The Internet – with its vastness and faux-anonymity – is a great platform for the non-judgemental expose you talk about.
When you think about it, if one person doesn’t like what you blog, another person certainly will. If anything, social media gives you a chance to find your audience without the awkward feeling(s) of rejection.
Hilarious. I had to think about when I first met you. This was it.
http://punkrockhr.com/kennedy-expo-the-cyber-lounge-politics/
To say that I didn’t like you isn’t accurate. I didn’t really know anyone at Kennedy and OMG I WAS SHY. I had just moved to Raleigh. I was a little depressed.
Also, I was the victim of a stupid color dye problem before the show. I was more preoccupied with the rainbow of colors in my hair. Red. Blonde. Some brown. I remember getting tacos & burritos with Joel Cheesman and he asked, “Just how many colors are in there right now?”
I said, “Shut it, chump.”
Good times, good times.
Women are in a social-media-double-bind. We can’t be ourselves for lots of reasons (family, safety, privacy), but we have to be authentic. F–k that. People believe what they want to believe, no matter what I tell them. I’ve learned that I can’t control my personal brand. Do good work, be a kind and compassionate human being, and love animals.
What else is there in life?
@Michael – Thanks! I agree, it has been strange watching people rebrand online – especially if you know that one of them is just that “a brand” vs who that person is. BTW- I’ll make sure to send you a Palin ‘12 hoodie when they come in lol (obv kidding)
@Tracy – its like looking into a scary, american flag backed mirror, isn’t it
@Jon – I think it is hard for people that just see us online to realize how uncomfortable in person can be sometimes. I’m glad I’m not alone on this! Regarding why I blog – I blog because I don’t know how else to vent sometimes. I love that people read it, but I would do it even if you all didn’t
@Laurie – HAHA I totally remember the hair. But, in fairness, I will say that you are being far to kind regarding the situation. Honestly, you didn’t like me. I’m positive. In fact, I’m pretty sure there was an eye roll involved. Ahh…memories…. xoxoxo…..I digress, I totally agree with you – As a woman I think I am held to a different standard than what guys are. Everything I do is taken flirtatiously vs just giving someone shit for what they said or done. Listen, if I were to ever flirt with you – you would know it. And odds are, thats not happening. If I am teasing you – I’m doing just that. I have little subtly and no game so get off it. The rest of this rant will be a C@L blog post.
Great post Sarah. I could have wrote this (if I had better writing skills like yours) – you put thoughts similar to mine into words. Working in government – and coming from the private sector – can be challenging but I plan to send your words on to those who can support my mission to bring more social media into our work environment. I’m currently on a team that is working on the business case for it and any encouraging words I can hear – such as these – are so much help.
While I don’t work in my own basement – I do work in a basement with lots of IT folks – where would I be without my social network?
Thanks so much! (I used to be so corporate… sigh…)
I think so much of this is about voyeurism…and maybe even existentialism. Getting a glimpse into the lives of others validates us in some way. It gives us a place to fit in, but we actually get to choose that place: we get to choose at what level we participate, how we participate, and who we participate with. You don’t necessarily get those choices in traditional social settings. It’s weird, though, because I’m much better in those traditional settings. I’m still very uncomfortable – even awkward – in communicating with people I don’t really know via social media. It’s harder to judge one’s acceptance of you. In person you pretty much know where you stand right away…or do you? Great post – Thanks!
The hair was horrible. Le sigh.
@Renae – I don’t think I have great writing skills. I used to always get in horrible grades in english/writing for “writing like you speak”. Good thing that style works well on blogs.
Thanks though for the great comments – I love when people can relate to what I think. Enjoy the IT Basement and not being so corporate anymore ;-
@CharlieJudy – OK. I TOTALLY agree. I’m a voyer at heart. It allows us to feel a little normal. Its like why I love watching the crazy reality shows that I watch. Its interesting that you feel less comfortable online hmm… That is very cool – just shows the diversity and complexity of the human psyche
@laurie It was still cute
Your first point, thats me; every. single. word. Without social media I wouldnt have some the great friends that I have. I wouldn’t be able to call HR Minion my BFF and Conference Spouse and that makes me sad just to think about it.