You know the candidates I’m talking about – the one’s that send you emails “Hoping you have a great day!” or that send 40,000 confirmations before a meeting to “make sure it is still a good time for your valuable schedule” or the ones that shoot off the thank you emails for you responding to their email. Its kinda annoying. There. I said it. I admit, I may be the only person that feels this way – but it is something that has bothered me since my very first recruiting gig.
There is a difference between friendly and being nice to the creepy level. This past few months has really kicked up the creepy.
So – if you want a job here are my top 3 tips -
1. Don’t facebook stalk me. I accepted your friend request, but I don’t need to chat with you all day long (I have a job) and you don’t need to send me emails asking if I am mad at you. We aren’t dating (and if we were and you did that we wouldn’t be for long)
2. Don’t send me random emails with pictures of kitties hanging from a branch that say “hang in there” because you “know how hard finding the right candidate is” All you do is make me angry and wonder what you know about recruiting when you have never done it.
3. Don’t act like I am brilliant. I am not. I am just like you. Laughing when I say something remotely funny or telling me how much my blog has changed your life is weird. Its a blog and thats not true.
If you have done any of these things – chances are, I have put you in my creeping me out file folder in my mind. Unfortunately, there is a lot of people in it so you have company.
I am a job seeker but am relieved that you are expressing this meme. While managing my search process I have been involved in several networking groups. In those groups, I have witnessed some pretty stalkery behavior and am astonished at how some job seekers feel it is appropriate to be so familiar.
Sarah,
All very true points, however that sometimes flattery does get you everywhere. Most people just don’t know how to go about correctly without looking like the creepy, stalker, scary type.
Bottom line is that when you are in the job search, it takes a lot of time and preparation to build relationships and you can’t expect a recruiter to trust you or develop a friendship with a facebook comment and an email.
Good Stuff Sarah! I’ve always been a *FAN*!
Jessica Miller-Merrell, SPHR
@blogging4jobs
Sarah – Sounds like you are off to a bitter start this morning, hang in there meow!
I agree with what Jessica has said. Those that know how to use it to their advantage without looking creepy can gain an advantage. Maybe not on me, but surely on some of the soft hiring managers I’ve dealt with.
Quick story – I have a history of bad shoulders and g damn hockey has put me in surgery a good bit. One time I made the mistake of telling a candidate through e-mail that I’d be out for 3-4 days for shoulder surgery. They responded with, “I know you how you feel, a month ago I had a cyst on my ass and the doctors had to lance it out, OUCH!” Thanks candidate, sharing ass stories with me always makes me feel better.
Rich DeMatteo
@CornOnTheJob
An old friend of mine said (in dating terms), “that guy doesn’t need anti-perspirant, he needs anti-desperant.” Recruiting, dating… they’re pretty similar.
LMAO Rich (pun intended hehe) I feel all y’alls pain. Nothing is more irritating than the person who hasn’t given you the time of day in months, then all of a sudden is your best friend b/c they need a job. Seasonal friendships. Or worse, someone who wants you to help them (or a spouse) find a job, and when you tell them you have nothing available, they question how thorough you dug for them, pointing you to your jobs website where there is a job (3 levels up, mind you!) listed in Portland but they’re in the midwest. Then they go on to say how qualified they or their spouse are, and how they’re “sure you can put in a good word for them”. And when you still insist that the opportunity is not for them because there are qualified candidates IN Portland currently interviewing for that job, they get nasty with you. Way to assure you certainly won’t get that job: be nasty to the recruiter who also happens to be your seasonal friend when you need something.
/soapbox
Colin nailed it. People cross over the line of flattery into desperation constantly. Saying you read my blog can help but commenting on every single tweet, facebook post and comment looks awful.
Hi Sarah, how are you? I hope you’re well and having wonderfull day!
My dog barked about your blog recently (this is my dog, William, updating his twitter: http://tinyurl.com/ya82jo2) and I’ve been reading it over the past few weeks, and honestly its changed my life. You’re so brilliant and this post was hilllllllarious, hahahaha.
I added you to Facebook just now, I was wondering if you need anyone to help you out with your blog, or whether you know anyone looking for a candidate.
Thank you very much, have a brilliant day!
Call me
Stefan
@Superscout_Stef
Why in the world would a job candidate Facebook-friend a recruiter? Not only is that stalkery-weird, but it opens up the candidate’s profile to the recruiter, and why would a candidate want the recruiter to see the pictures of him at last weekend’s kegger?
MJ – I tend to see it when it is someone you already know from your network that is looking – not a blind candidate…
I’m changing your name from “ImSoSarah,” to “I’m So Snarky.” There’s nothing that will send people running away from you in droves like neediness. If you look or sound desperate, it’s not only a deal breaker, it’s an interview killer.
On the other hand Sarah, it’s obvious you have been out of the job market for quite some time. It’s easy to sit in your easy chair and bark about how whiny job seekers are . Stop it, it’s not nice, and it won’t help your recruiting strategy.
OD practitioners are not the only professionals in an organization to understand the core value of intelligent succession planning. The economy is turning around. There will once again be a time in the not so distant future where recruiters will face a labor shortage. You might just be the desperate one, and walk painfully in the shoes that so many job seekers currently wear.
The best demonstrated practice is to be kind and helpful to those in transition. After all, they are your talent pool. If you see someone doing something stupid, and you care enough, coach them; don’t slap them.
HAHA – I kinda like that – I get snarky sometimes…
I do just want to clarify that I have NOT been out of the job market for quite some time. I have looked for new positions actually just this year (I started with HRMDirect in March). I don’t think job seekers (overall) are whiny – but there are some that are. Its a fact of life and recruiting. And it isn’t so much that they are whiny – but they are needy – want your attention so much that it has the opposite effect of what they were trying to get you do to do – hire them.
I am not exactly sure what your OD comment means (sorry) but I agree and advocate continuously for companies to build solid brands, processes and interactions with their candidates. If you read through my older posts you will find a number of them on candidate experience – in fact, i have been talking about it since I started blogging back in 2006 (ImSoCorporate.com is a new blog – but I am not a new blogger)
As a recruiter, I don’t have the time or energy to coach every single candidate that walks through my door or calls me on the phone. What little time I do have that I can spend coaching candidate – I will do so with the ones that I like and think would be great candidates elsewhere – not the ones that are stalking me and trying to intimidate me into interviewing them when they aren’t qualified for the job.
Regardless of my creepy factor on people, I am courteous and nice and NEVER slap them on the hand.
Also, I’d argue that Sarah IS helping them, right here with this blog post. It’s not mean to point out behaviors that some candidates have and explain why they’re not smart.
I agree 100% with @mjfrombuffalo. If they wait till after they get the job (if they do), then sure that’s great, but before hand could just be a bunch of trouble.
I agree with Margo, too often recruiters forget they are dealing with people, not washing machines. 7 million people have lost their jobs in this recession and there is no forcast for sunshine for many of them. Yes they are desperate, trying going 6 months without a job and laying awake at night wondering how your going to make the mortgage payment and feed the kids then tell me you won’t try to think outside the box when looking for a job.
Sure, some of these people are creepy and have crossed the line into the creepy catagory but before you “put them in your creepy file” try to remember that you could be in the same situation one day.
Michael – I get it, the economy sucks. I have been in their situation – unemployed, looking for a job and figuring out the rest of life as it happened. There is a difference between “thinking outside the box” and stalking. I have also seen the same people turn down jobs because it was too far of a commute (less than an hour), thought they were worth more money (offer close/equal to what they previously were making) or a number of other things. The creepy file is reserved for only a few of the creepiest – not your typical need job seeker.
My blog still holds true – you don’t have to cross the line to get noticed.
I don’t think Sarah *has* forgotten that she’s dealing with people. And the simple truth is, having met a lot of other job seekers as I manage my own 13 month transtion: yes, some job seekers *are* creepy, and that’s an unfortunate truth. I’ve certainly met some people like that.
And I honestly don’t see why acknowledging that there are a few bad apples out there is a problem. Some job seekers need to hear this, or something a lot like it, if you ask me.
Thanks! Sometimes reality hurts people.
And the social media “too much/too little” debate rages on…
That said, you point out a problem of distinction, or when ‘too much’ IS ‘too much’. I don’t think that and desperation are the same things. Some candidates are probably, truly desperate. Others could just be total whack jobs, or just really, really want to be part of your org.
Thanks for the tips, though. Would you object to a picture of a dog sniffing its butt with a message on how job hunting stinks?
lol – that would actually be kinda funny…
On a more serious note,
If someone can do the job well, I don’t really care if they are creepy or not. Some people are just damn rude, cynical as hell, some don’t give a shit, and some just make you so frustrated you want to stick your head into the sand and scream.
So yeah, some people may come across as too friendly, but it could be a whole lot worse! The fact of the matter is that if that freaky person could get my site back online in 5 mins, or a new feature out in one day instead of a week and care as much about my company as they care about (trying) to communicate with me… I might think twice about inviting them for an out of office party, but they would certainly be in my most wanted list… if they could get the job done properly.
Stefan
@Superscout_stef
Stefan – Agreed – I don’t have to like you to hire you. In fact, I don’t like most people so if that was the case I wouldn’t have had very many hires ever. But the reality is – when you are hiring
“people” roles – Sales, Customer Service, Marketing, etc the interaction before hand gives you a good feel for what perception that person will be putting out into the marketplace when representing your company/product.
So, I guess I should stop sending those fruit baskets to the recruiters and hiring managers. And stop cyber stalking them. And stop actually stalking them from the bushes outside their houses. But how will they know that I’m really and truly interested in the job?
I can’t stop myself from jumping in.
*
1. I’m a writer and I make money when people like me. I want you to like me & learn from me. Really. I want to help you.
2. While I want you to like me, I want my readers to know that what they see on the internet is only a fraction of my real life. It’s not me — it’s a component of my personality.
3. It may look like I am friendly to everyone, but being ‘friendly’ and being a true friend are two different things.
*
I think human beings are so connected and yet so isolated. It creates a bifurcated way of operating in the world, so we look for meaning where it doesn’t exist. Many of us fill in the gaps and make assumptions about relationships.
It’s sad. I actually feel sorry for many women & men out there.
*
Now to the deeper stuff: I’ve been stalked in subtle and direct ways.
My message to anyone who crosses the line is a sutble way is clear. I simply say, “Please stop. I cannot help you. I cannot be your friend.”
For those who persist or threaten to come to my house and show me what a real friend/man can do for me, that message is clear, too.
- It’s over. You cannot cross the line again. Stop it.
- I have a gun and I will shoot you in the face.
- Then I will go to your house and shoot your mom in the face so your whole family is as traumatized as I am when you come across like a pervert.
No jury would convict me, either. You’re a stalker.
*
Wow, that’s a random comment from me. Thanks for letting me get this out into the ether.
DITTO Laurie -
PS. I don’t really walk around with a flag – but have been asked “where is your flag” at least 10 times per conference recently.
PSS. I am likely far nicer online than I am in person and I tend to only really get along with other people that are equally as messed up as I am.
PPSS. My real life is nuts – I always love that people think it is perfect and that I don’t “Get it” – Trust me, I do, likely more than you know
Crap. Can someone fix my spelling errors? Shoot.
HAHA @Laurie Awesome. That’s all I have to say about that.
Sarah, your post made me laugh, for it is so true. As a contract recruiter, I have also been on the other side. I always make sure – when sending that email, or making that phone call – that it is with an appropriate message. Just like my calls as a recruiter are often scripted, so are my calls to the recruiter I just interviewed with. Flattery, as a candidate, gets you nowhere, professionalism does.
If you are stalking me, the recruiter, it is only a reflection on how you will behave with your clients, your colleagues, your managers when you are employed. If you are harassing me, I don’t want you to be working for my company or for my client.
I also hate those that call and do not leave a message, then call you two minutes later, and two minutes after that. Really, people, it’s the 21st century, have you heard of call display! I see you!
And, Sarah, what are you doing friending candidates on facebook! That’s what LinkedIn is for.
@akiki
OMG! Thank you guys for enjoying my random rant (for the most part).
To be clear (as some of the private messages seemed to have some confusion) I am not saying NOT to be nice, but don’t be SO nice that you come off as creepy. Seriously. Following up, sending thank you letters, being friendly – no issue. Creepy/Stalker – Issue.
I’m sending you pictures of kittens every day now. Except mine will be break dancing. Because nothing says I want a job more than break dancing kittens.
Do it and see what happens.
Snap. I want breakdancing kitten pictures.
sarah
love the ‘rant’ because its so true…. uncomfortable, yet true. a colleague in FL shared it with us and i will be spreading truth this afternoon. great job
Pingback: 2009 – A Year in Review «
Pingback: Sourcing and Courtship: is there really a difference? | Cruiter Talk
Pingback: alstin communications » Adventures in Recruiting
Pingback: #FunFriday – The Best of HR & Social Media Geeky T-Shirts
I would RT this but was scared to do so.
haha – WHY?
Bad job seeker peeves. Thank God Im more grounded than those folks.